My one thing to do this month is to write. So, a challenge to the church from Bishop Kibby Otoo came at the end of July. He said, select one thing and do it consistently in August. I decided to write this month on humanity and sisterhood.
"God's heartbeat is humanity." Growing up, I heard that this was one of the favorite sayings of my Father Grand (Grandfather), Fr. Charles A. E. McIntosh. I've heard a lot about some of his "preachings", but the above by far is my favorite.
What is Humanity? The dictionary will give you synonyms such as compassion, tolerance, consideration, kindness, humaneness, brotherly love (I say, sisterly love). Words we all need to work out daily. As in the age of now, there are many things to distract us from humanity. In the world shaped by self-gratification, the world has managed to water down the true meaning of humanity. Humanity is now the route to notoriety. Humanity is I must subscribe to your beliefs. In the world of hurting people we should be helping, people have coined humanity as an opportunity to elevate to a higher platform, greater title, and different income brackets. Humanity is now expecting modern-day slaves who will harken to our every need.
Dear Sisters,
In a world crying for help, I can only open up this series on sisterhood to ask us, where is our quest if humanity is absent?
As an individual, where is our compassion?
In our interpersonal spaces, is humanity at the core?
How are we showing up in our communities and nations?
First, let's focus on us as individuals. Often, we go through struggles calling on God and promising him a lot (we are all guilty). Father, bless me with a car, and I'll make sure I help a sister get to church. Father, bless me with a ministry, and I'll make sure to touch broken women. Father, bless me with a circle of real friends; that's all I need. When God blesses us, we soon forget what it felt like to be in the old positions. As individuals, we have to understand a couple of things.
There is a difference between growing into a confident woman vs. becoming a prideful individual. When we overcome a struggle by God's hands, we can't take glory for overcoming. Instead, it was the Lord's doing only. It is not, I got through it, but the Hands of the Lord pulled me out. It is not your achievement, but rather, it is God's visitation. So, we cannot tell others I have overcome by my doings and my will is being done (pride), but rather by God's doing and His will is being done.
We have to understand the processing. We cannot skip a phase and expect to be made whole. The process comes with a healing stage. We have to heal from traumas. When we show up in friendships and other places not healed, we only bleed on those who may truly care and love us. We are creating more broken sisters by bleeding on others and creating more broken people who then become unable to trust or communicate without personalizing attacks.
Arrogance: We fail ourselves when we show up in spaces with a lack of humanity in words, thoughts, or deeds. The ones who love us may tolerate it, but open doors will slam shut, leaving folks baffled when, in fact, the negative attitudes closed those doors, friendships, potential mates, and opportunities.
INTERPERSONAL SPACE:
Forming opinions of others by words of others: perhaps we all have been guilty of number 1. However, as we age, we have to assess our strengths and weaknesses to address them. Forming negative opinions of others because Sister Mary Judea, who you so trust, says that Catherine Mary is hateful only limits our interpersonal interactions, which could open more doors for you now or in the future. Another way, it may be hindering an opportunity for you to be a blessing.
Seeing the world through the eyes of only now: In God's eyes, He could change anyone's season in a blink of an eye. When her season changes, have you been kind as a sister? Will you embrace God's blessings for her, or will the shift in dynamics leave you uncertain of your sisterhood.
Competition to rule vs. love: Our interpersonal spaces should be free of competition caused by jealousy, envy, pride, or manipulation. Our interpersonal spaces should be filled with love. For everyone we encounter, love should be a priority. We may not reach all of our sisters every day, but when we do, we should embrace them with hearts. As you age, you may not chat with your sisters every day, I personally have sisters we don't chat for a while, but we pray each other up, and when we do chat, we don't miss a beat. Why? We trust God in each of us. We know the other heart carries love.
Kind Words: Words are bullets we can't recall. I don't know if I need to say much after it. We cannot recall words. So, make sure your words are fewer outbursts and more thoughtful. You cannot call your sister names and keep expecting to have the same level of trust. Words: PRIDEFUL, SELFISH, DISTRACTION, UNSTABLE, NUISANCE, UNPLUGGED, BARREN, UNFRUITFUL, UNAVAILABLE, SLUT, WHORE, GOLD DIGGER, UNEDUCATED, MS. EDUCATED. You may add to the list. These are terms we cannot recall. Once fired, you have destroyed the fabric of what could have been a sisterhood. Forgiveness is required of us, but forgetting is a work that is hard because we are flesh. We have to submit our minds to that forgiving state multiple times on some issues for God to heal. When God heals, it is an incredible freedom, but let's remember: Words are irrevocable bullets. LOVE is PRICELESS.
Stay humble: When God gives us a platform to elevate His people, it is not to be taken carelessly. God places us in certain positions not for us to become arrogant, but to remain humble to reach humanity, God's heartbeat. Too often, people lose focus in this era of me. People are walking around with the "I am entitled to" mindset; we forget God's initial intent to serve when operating in such a manner. I understand honor, but what I don't comprehend in this new era of "me love me" is the abuse of honor. Honor is of God, but its misuse is not of him. If called to lead, run with humility. If you assigned to aid orphans, serve them well with dignity. If being brought forth to serve your nation, operate with integrity, and the people at heart. More so, the world does not always have to understand or see your labor of love. You don't always have to tell the world that you wiped Mary Peter's tears with a 100 dollar bill.
Community:
If you find oneself a part of any community to include church, heritage organizations, neighborhood housing associations, embrace a new sister even if it is just a hello. For new sisters, guard your ears against even those who appear to have your interest. Be spirit-led only. Many times, people join organizations, churches, groups, clubhouses, and the longstanding women members are waiting for the new sisters to socialize and get to know people. Better yet, the new sisters are held to the task of getting to know the longstanding members, and if she does not meet someone's checklist, she is called distraction, unstable, unfriendly, prideful, and the rest. Truthfully, in a loving environment, a sister will easily blend and form friendships. In a situation where love is sparing, some women just can't function and will retreat to those who seem to befriend.
Individuals make up the community. So, for our communities to be healed, individuals have to heal. This is one reason Herfidence.com exists to bring healing to many women by God's grace.
Sisterhood in the community does not equate to confidants. We must understand the difference between the two. Someone may embrace you as a sister, but you may not be her confidant. We should not feel rejected if the position of confidant is not offered to us. We have our confidants at a certain age, most of us. If a new sister does not give the position of confidant to you, she does not know you; wait on time, share love, and seek God's positioning.
Women in governmental leadership:
We celebrate you as a woman. We'll vote for you over a man or celebrate your appointment, any given day. However, we need you to be ready to lead, serve with integrity, and bless humanity. Coming to the stage ill-prepared, corrupt, and neglecting your positioning to aid humankind or failing to develop humanity will not make you desirable. When placed in power, remember God's heartbeat is not your luxury cars and homes. It is not how many people you can step on or disrespect. Your positioning in the season is to be a conduit to uplift humanity.
Women in Faith:
Religious institutions have been patriarchal for years. I am a Christian, and I love Jesus. Jesus' ministry did not deny women of the forefront. Even to the cross and resurrection, women were positioned to see him through his sufferings and the manifestation of the resurrection. So, first and foremost, we need to see more women in faith leadership. However, when there, let's make sure we are healed to serve. It is an error to lead when you are so broken. Broken people hurt others, but healed individuals create transformation. You want to create lasting change in others, heal yourself. See, it is not a crime to have been broken or to have character flaws. We all have them, but it is prideful not to see your character flaws but only those of others. We all have character flaws and need to work on them. And guess what? Most times, if you can't see your character flaws, you project your attitude on others. We could solve many issues within the circle of women of faith if we were to understand the true power of real sisterhood. Sisterhood is not buying me coffee today because you feel happy and throwing that same coffee in my face when you are upset. Now, when I was about to start writing about sisterhood. I was cautioned as if I were writing from a place of perfection. The intention of this blog post is not to say be perfect. I am not perfect, but it is to begin training our minds and hearts to grow. The focus is to speak out my truth and hope it is your truth as well.
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